Why do relationships deteriorate after discussing a loved one?

 

One man accidentally overheard his fiancee discussing him with a friend on the phone.

"I have it like silk now! He gave me some crappy carnations last time, and I had a cold conversation with him for two days. He was dating his mother again, and she's a bad influence on him. I put him on his knees, he's still jumping! He wanted to throw a tantrum at me, but I said right away: I'm leaving you!"… Well, nothing special, right? Well, I was talking to a friend. Well, she shared it. That's what many people do. But the man left. Although the woman loved him. It's just what she always did: she discussed her loved ones. In vain, of course. A person demands loyalty and love from another. Respect and loyalty. It's okay if you have a close relationship. And at the same time, a person tells his friends and family about this loved one. What he said, what he did, how he was punished for his mistake, how he is manipulated and how they achieve what they want. A woman is sitting with her friends and discussing her man with these friends. Or a child. Or the mother. Well, or so a man does. Discusses his closest people with those who are not his closest. Not at a specialist's appointment. Not to get professional help. But he just discusses his own people with outsiders. It happens that he portrays them in their faces. And he laughs and is proud of how he put it in its place. Or he didn't pick up the phone for three days to punish me. Then they are surprised and upset: the relationship has deteriorated, broken up, there is no warmth, no trust, no love. It's easy to turn a relationship into a cold house where everyone comes in whenever they want. And they curiously touch everything, examine it, climb into closets and into bed, give advice.… Don't tell me everything about your own people. And wait for loyalty and love. There won't be any. They don't happen in a cold house where everything is in plain sight. Where there is no shelter and warmth. And there is no proximity. Intimacy is very personal, it is the secret of loved ones, even if they quarrel or get angry at each other. And the reason for the breakup of the relationship is the unwillingness to keep this secret. Those who discuss their own with others cannot count on loyalty and love. It's usually discussed the same way. And for some reason it hurts a lot afterwards. Or they just leave without explaining the reasons. Although the reason is simple.